March 25th, 2011

March 2011

Dear Friends of German Comedy,

I’ve got to hurry up writing this month’s newsletter. After all there’s hardly any March left. And even less down here in Australia.

After a few days in Melbourne I have decided I should hurry up a bit more in life in general, not least when it comes to exercising.
Go to any public swimming pool in Britain or Germany and most people will be there on doctor’s orders with some Twix hanging out their mouths and the threat of expulsion from the Allgemeine Ortskrankenkasse hanging over their heads.
Ten minutes of sitting in the shallow end, blowing one’s cheeks in and out for no purpose at all trying to look an athlete is usually followed by at most two lengths in the 25 meter pool, and then some spitting and who-knows-what-else in the water. Leni Riefenstahl it’s not.

The experience at the local Prahran pool next to my venue here in Melbourne couldn’t be more different. Everyone but me knows how to swim really, really elegantly and fast and for miles.

The whole experience made me incredibly self-conscious. Now that Herr Kuhnle isn’t here to give me a run for the money, I am by far the most out-of-shape person in the pool; if not the whole local area.

There I was, by the poolside – with my Central European pot belly, pale complexion, and ever so slightly bloated cheeks indicative of a CAMRA membership card. But not the fully-fledged alcoholic’s face that usually goes with wearing a football top.

Anyway, I felt sufficiently out of place to unfurl a Tooting & Mitcham FC emblazoned St George flag by the poolside and give a rendition of Rule Britannia, so to tarnish Britain’s reputation rather than Germany’s.

Obviously no-one watched or listened as they were all too busy thundering up and down those swimming lanes.

Back home local authorities at least have got the decency of making one feel better about oneself by putting some freakish looking creature in the pool’s shop in the foyer selling ice-creams, chips and Coca-Cola.

Down here one is not even given that little bit of consolation – the shop is staffed by some model selling peaches, pears and fruit cocktails. And not a burger in sight.

Homemade burgers, however, will be available (that’s seamless, that is!) at my preview run at the Betsey Trotwood in Farringdon from May 9-14.

The new show is now finally called No Surrender, following last month’s vote in which No Surrender got 4 votes compared to Scheissenromp’s 3. Verdict: neither title managed to capture the imagination…..

Bloody hell, this is one massive bulletin. But at least it’s very light on jokes.

Have a great month – I’m off watching some aerobics DVD – saves me doing any actual exercise


2011, Monthly Bulletins

Posted by Henning Wehn on Friday, March 25th, 2011.

September 2017

20 – EPSOM – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
21 – DUNSTABLE – Grove Theatre – SOLD OUT
22 – DARTFORD – The Orchard – TICKETS
23 – TUNBRIDGE WELLS – Assembly Hall – SOLD OUT
29 – CLACTON-on-SEA – Princes Theatre – TICKETS
30 – IPSWICH – Regent Theatre – TICKETS

October 2017

1 – LOWESTOFT – Marina Theatre – TICKETS
4 – BELFAST – Ulster Hall – TICKETS
7 – WATFORD – Colosseum – TICKETS
8 – LEAMINGTON SPA – Royal Spa Centre – TICKETS
12 – WREXHAM – William Aston Hall – TICKETS
13 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – SOLD OUT
14 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – SOLD OUT
15 – KETTERING Lighthouse – TICKETS
20 – KENDAL – Westmoreland Hall – TICKETS
21 – CARLISLE – Sands Centre – TICKETS
22 – NEWCASTLE – Theatre Royal – SOLD OUT
26 – LONDON – Hackney Empire – TICKETS
28 – MELTON MOWBRAY – Melton Theatre – TICKETS
29 – CHESTERFIELD – Pomegranate Theatre – TICKETS

November 2017

3 – CRAWLEY – The Hawth  – TICKETS
8 – READING – Hexagon – TICKETS
9 – CANTERBURY – Marlowe Theatre – TICKETS
12 – SHREWSBURY – Theatre Severn – SOLD OUT
16 – CAMBRIDGE Corn Exchange – TICKETS
18 – HAYES – Beck Theatre – TICKETS
19 – SALISBURY – City Hall – SOLD OUT
23 – BARNSLEY – Civic Theatre – TICKETS
24 – SCARBOROUGH – The Spa Theatre – TICKETS
25 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – SOLD OUT

December 2017

2 – LONDON Cadogan Hall TICKETS

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