December 5th, 2012


December 2012


Dear Friends of German Comedy,

It’s the Queen here. No, calm down, it’s not. It’s only me.

With emotions running high I’d better not make light of Kate Middleton’s nurse’s suicide. But I immediately knew that nurse wasn’t from round here. No British employee has ever cared enough about their job to commit suicide after making a mistake.

That’s after all what Britain invented self-deprecation for. It doesn’t matter if you mess up in your line of work. As long as you can tell the tale of your underachievement in an entertaining fashion you’ll be alright and in line for promotion.

In a way, the hoax call reminded me of when I was applying for marketing jobs at the 92 English football league clubs back in 2002.

I rang all clubs to see if they had any openings, and ask whom to send my CV to.

Whoever answered Port Vale FC’s phone deserves a medal, as he made me address my application to Barry Bigtits. I was 99% sure the name was made up but a) I had nothing to lose, and b) if that really was the name of the HR person he would have very few applications on his desk as everyone would assume it’s a joke.

Sadly it was a joke.

But rather than death and job-hunting let’s end the final bulletin of the year on a more cheery note and remember what a great success 2012 has been.

Particularly the Olympic Games!

Before, everyone was convinced London 2012 would be a shambles and a half.
But then, against all the odds, it turned out very well.

Luckily since then the debate about future use of the Olympic Stadium has been living up to the expectations. It took the London Legacy Development Corporation five months to appoint West Ham as the preferred bidder! Seeing it’s only them and Leyton Orient in the vicinity you wonder how that decision could have been five months in the making.

It’s like parents pondering who to make the beneficiary of their will – their only child or their cat.

Talking of cats (seamless, I know): who remembers Alan Coren’s “Golfing for Cats”, the 1970s book with the massive swastika on the cover, combining the three most potent sales concepts of the day: golf, cats and Nazis?

There is now a 21st century sham version of that very idea!

www.dialacelebrity.co.uk a website combining the modern British triple obsession of celebrity, charity and mobile phones.

Talking to, say, Neville Southall sets you back an outlandish 20 quid. Per minute!

A half-hour chat would cost you 600 quid! I’m pretty sure Southall does personal appearances for less.

Seriously, whatever you do, don’t phone that number – not even for a laugh or to find out if it’s for real – if I find out you rang them and are hundreds of quid down I won’t be able to forgive myself!

If you’re determined to use your phone, ring 08448 733433 and book tickets for my Authentic German Christmas Do at Leicester Square Theatre. £15.50 for 120 minutes – an astonishing 154 times cheaper than talking to Neville Southall.

Have a great end to 2012 and a sufficiently successful 2013

Henning

2012, Monthly Bulletins

Posted by Henning Wehn on Wednesday, December 5th, 2012.



March 2018

5 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
6 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
12 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
13 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
14 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
19 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
20 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
21 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
22 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT

April 2018

09 – BATH – Widcombe Social Club – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
10 – BATH – Widcombe Social Club – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
12 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
13 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
14 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
18 – BEVERLEY – East Riding Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
19 – POCKLINGTON – Arts Centre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
20 – POCKLINGTON – Arts Centre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
21 – BEVERLEY – East Riding Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
29 – TRING – The Court Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
30 – TRING – The Court Theatre – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress

May 2018

1 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
2 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
7 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
8 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
11 – GREAT TORRINGTON – Plough Arts – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
12 – GREAT TORRINGTON – Plough Arts – SOLD OUT- Work In Progress
13 – LAUNCESTON – Town Hall – SOLD OUT – Work in Progress
14 – LAUNCESTON – Town Hall – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
17 – DARTMOUTH – The Flavel – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
18 – FALMOUTH – The Poly – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
19 – PENZANCE – The Acorn – SOLD OUT – Work In Progress
29 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
30 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
31 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUTPOSTPONED to June 1st

June 2018

1 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT – Originally May 31st
2 – HAYWARDS HEATH – Clair Hall – SOLD OUT – Work in Progress
7 – NORWICH – Playhouse – SOLD OUT  – Work in Progress
8 – NORWICH – Playhouse – SOLD OUT  – Work in Progress
9 – NORWICH – Playhouse – SOLD OUT  – Work in Progress
11 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
12 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
13 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT

July 2018

24 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
25 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
26 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT

August 2018

2 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
3 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
4 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
5 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
8 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
9 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
10 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
11 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
12 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves –TICKETS
15 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
16 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
17 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
18 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
19 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
22 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
23 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
24 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
25 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS
26 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – TICKETS

September 2018

20 – WAVENDON – The Stables – TICKETS
21 – WAVENDON – The Stables – TICKETS
22 – WAVENDON – The Stables – TICKETS
26 – BRIDPORT – Electric Palace – Extra date – TICKETS
27 – BRIDPORT – Electric Palace – SOLD OUT
28 – WIMBORNE – Tivoli Theatre – SOLD OUT
29 – WIMBORNE – Tivoli Theatre – SOLD OUT

October 2018

4 – LOUGHBOROUGH – Town Hall – TICKETS
5 – MALVERN – Forum – SOLD OUT
6 – GUILDFORD – G Live – TICKETS
7 – LEAMINGTON SPA – Royal Spa Centre – TICKETS
11 – BEDFORD – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
12 – LEEDS – City Varieties – TICKETS
13 – LEEDS – City Varieties – TICKETS
18 – CHESTER – Story House – SOLD OUT
19 – SALFORD – Lowry Lyric Theatre – TICKETS
25 – KINGS LYNN – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
26 – PETERBOROUGH – The Cresset – TICKETS
27 – LINCOLN – The Engine Shed – TICKETS

November 2018

8 – WORTHING – Pavilion – TICKETS
9 – BEXHILL – De La Warr Pavilion – TICKETS
10 – SOUTHEND – Cliff’s Pavilion – TICKETS
15 – ST ALBANS – Alban Arena – TICKETS
16 – DARTFORD – The Orchard – TICKETS
17 – READING – Hexagon – TICKETS
21 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
22 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
23 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
24 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
28 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
29 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
30 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS

December 2018

1 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
5 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
6 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
7 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
8 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
12 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
13 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS 
14 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
15 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS 

 

February 2019

6 – EXETER – Corn Exchange –TICKETS
7 – EXETER – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
8 – SWINDON – Wyvern Theatre –TICKETS
9 – SWINDON – Wyvern Theatre –TICKETS
14 – ALDERSHOT – Princes Hall – TICKETS SOON
15 – LEICESTER – De Montfort Hall – TICKETS
16 – BROMLEY – Churchill Theatre -TICKETS SOON
17 – BRIGHTON – Dome – TICKETS
21 – WHITELY BAY – Playhouse – TICKETS
22 – HARROGATE – Royal Hall – TICKETS SOON
23 – SHEFFIELD – Octagon – TICKETS

March 2019

1 – BASINGSTOKE – The Anvil – TICKETS
2 – CAMBRIDGE – Corn Exchange – TICKETS SOON
7 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON
9 – BUXTON – Opera House – TICKETS
22 – STEVENAGE – Concert Hall – TICKETS
29 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS
30 – WREXHAM – William Aston Hall – TICKETS 
31 – SHREWSBURY – Theatre Severn – TICKETS SOON

April 2019

5 – PORT TALBOT – Prince’s Royal Theatre – TICKETS SOON
6 – CARDIFF – St David’s Hall – TICKETS
7 – SOUTHAMPTON – The Mayflower Theatre – TICKETS
12 – SALISBURY – City Hall – TICKETS SOON
13 – TORQUAY – Babbacombe Theatre – TICKETS
14 – CHELTENHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS SOON

May 2019

2 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON
3 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON
4 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON
10 – COVENTRY – Warwick Arts Centre Butterworth Hall – TICKETS
16 – CHATHAM – Central Theatre – TICKETS SOON
17 – MARGATE – Winter Gardens – TICKETS SOON
23 – YEOVIL – Westlands – TICKETS SOON
24 – BARNSTAPLE – Queens Theatre – TICKETS SOON
25 – WESTON-SUPER-MARE – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON

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