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July 2010

Dear Friends of German Comedy,

This is the time of year when all comedians diligently prepare their products for the Edinburgh comedy trade fair in August.

Unless their football team forces them out on a ‘Leo Sayer’ once every four days, with times between matches spent re-hydrating.

Not that it’s current news or any of my business but I was disappointed with the reaction of the English public to their team’s defeat at the hands of Germany.

Instead of wasting their time criticising players and manager they should have revived the spirit of 1996 and smashed up all Mercedes, BMW, Volkswagens, thus forcing the owners to buy new ones. And by God could the German car industry do with that business.

This short video sums up the defeatist aura of today’s England supporters.

I am also not convinced that winning the World Cup would have been a good thing for England; certainly not for the rest of Britain as they wouldn’t hear the end of it.

There’s nothing wrong with upward social mobility – but do you really want Sir John Terry and Sir Stevie G?

But worse: three-quarters of the population would have died of alcohol poisoning, the press would have asked if England’s World Cup win is bigger than Jordan’s tits, and just like winning Rugby World Cup 2003 success would have led to complacency and even bigger failure in the future.

Therefore the heavy criticism of Rooney and Co for their performances is wide of the mark, not least from an educational point of view.

If it wasn’t for the England team the numerical skills amongst football supporters would be nowhere near as good as they are. ‘How many years of hurt?’ ‘Well, it was 44. Now we’ll have to add another 4. Hang on, I can do this. 44,45,46,47,48. It’s 48.’ ‘Great. You’re not studying in Oxford for nothing.’

(This joke reads very lame but when acted out on stage it turns into comedy ‘gold’. Unfortunately it’s the sort of ‘gold’ England’s ‘golden generation’ is made of; corroded base metal.)

But it’s not the time for bragging yet as the Fatherland so far hasn’t won anything either.

In fact there is the real possibility this World Cup might be remembered for Germany playing ‘Total Football’ and then in a complete role-reversal losing to a workman-style Dutch side in the final.

Because we mustn’t forget Germany isn’t as good as we used to be; we haven’t won a major tournament for 14 years. In fact, we haven’t even been to a final of one for almost 24 months. Oh, all those days of hurt…

Enjoy the final four games – and keep believing – 2014 will be your year!

Henning


September 2018

19 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
20 – WAVENDON – The Stables – SOLD OUT
21 – WAVENDON – The Stables – SOLD OUT
22 – WAVENDON – The Stables – SOLD OUT
26 – BRIDPORT – Electric Palace – SOLD OUT
27 – BRIDPORT – Electric Palace – SOLD OUT
28 – WIMBORNE – Tivoli Theatre – SOLD OUT
29 – WIMBORNE – Tivoli Theatre – SOLD OUT


October 2018

4 – LOUGHBOROUGH – Town Hall – SOLD OUT
5 – MALVERN – Forum – SOLD OUT
6 – GUILDFORD – G Live – SOLD OUT – Extra date 31st May 2019
7 – LEAMINGTON SPA – Royal Spa Centre – SOLD OUT
11 – BEDFORD – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
12 – LEEDS – City Varieties – SOLD OUT
13 – LEEDS – City Varieties – SOLD OUT
18 – CHESTER – Story House – SOLD OUT
19 – SALFORD – Lowry Lyric Theatre – TICKETS
20 – SALFORD – Lowry Lyric Theatre – TICKETS
25 – KINGS LYNN – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
26 – PETERBOROUGH – The Cresset – TICKETS
27 – LINCOLN – The Engine Shed – TICKETS


November 2018

8 – WORTHING – Pavilion – SOLD OUT – Extra date 6 June 2019 – TICKETS
9 – BEXHILL – De La Warr Pavilion – SOLD OUT – Extra date 18 May 2019 – TICKETS
10 – SOUTHEND – Cliff’s Pavilion – TICKETS
15 – ST ALBANS – Alban Arena – SOLD OUT – Extra date 30 May 2019 – TICKETS
16 – DARTFORD – The Orchard – TICKETS
17 – READING – Hexagon – SOLD OUT – Extra date 1 Jun 2019 – TICKETS
21 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
22 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
23 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
24 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
28 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
29 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
30 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS


December 2018

1 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
5 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
6 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
7 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
8 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
12 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
13 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS 
14 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
15 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS 


February 2019

6 – EXETER – Corn Exchange –TICKETS
7 – EXETER – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
8 – SWINDON – Wyvern Theatre –TICKETS
9 – SWINDON – Wyvern Theatre –TICKETS
14 – ALDERSHOT – Princes Hall – TICKETS
15 – LEICESTER – De Montfort Hall – TICKETS
16 – BROMLEY – Churchill Theatre –TICKETS
17 – BRIGHTON – Dome – TICKETS
20 – WHITLEY BAY – Playhouse – TICKETS
21 – WHITLEY BAY – Playhouse – SOLD OUT – Extra date added 20 Feb
22 – HARROGATE – Royal Hall – TICKETS
23 – SHEFFIELD – Octagon – TICKETS


March 2019

1 – BASINGSTOKE – The Anvil – TICKETS
2 – CAMBRIDGE – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
3 – EPSOM – Playhouse – TICKETS
7 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – TICKETS
8 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – TICKETS – Added date
9 – BUXTON – Opera House – TICKETS
22 – STEVENAGE – Concert Hall – TICKETS
23 – CREWE – Lyceum – TICKETS
29 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS
30 – WREXHAM – William Aston Hall – TICKETS 
31 – SHREWSBURY – Theatre Severn – TICKETS


April 2019

5 – PORT TALBOT – Prince’s Royal Theatre – TICKETS
6 – CARDIFF – St David’s Hall – TICKETS
7 – SOUTHAMPTON – The Mayflower Theatre – TICKETS
12 – SALISBURY – City Hall – TICKETS
13 – TORQUAY – Babbacombe Theatre – TICKETS
14 – CHELTENHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS


May 2019

2 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS
3 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS
4 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS
10 – COVENTRY – Warwick Arts Centre Butterworth Hall – TICKETS
11 – CHESTERFIELD – The Winding Wheel – TICKETS SOON
12 – LICHFIELD – Garrick Theatre – TICKETS
16 – CHATHAM – Central Theatre – TICKETS
17 – MARGATE – Winter Gardens – TICKETS
18 – BEXHILL – De La Warr Pavilion – TICKETS
23 – YEOVIL – Westlands – TICKETS
24 – BARNSTAPLE – Queens Theatre – TICKETS
25 – WESTON-SUPER-MARE – Playhouse – TICKETS
30 – ST ALBANS – Alban Arena – TICKETS
31 – GUILDFORD – G Live – TICKETS SOON


June 2019

1 – READING – Hexagon – TICKETS
6 – WORTHING – Pavilion – TICKETS
7 – SHANKLIN – Shanklin Theatre – TICKETS
8 – BOURNEMOUTH – Pavilion – TICKETS
15 – ST HELIER – Jersey Opera House – TICKETS SOON


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