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January 2011

Dear Friends of German Comedy,

I have only just calmed down from the Oldham East and Saddleworth by-election. And my fury had nothing to do with Debbie Abrahams winning.
What got my goat was that polling stations closed at 10pm yet the result wasn’t announced until 2am. What have they been doing in those four hours???

Having extensively re-enacted the scenario at home I can guarantee that identifying which candidate has been voted for and chucking the ballot paper onto the relevant pile does not take more than 3 seconds each. This works out as 20 ballot papers per minute or 1,200 per hour.

Considering 34,930 votes were cast we are talking 29.108 man-hours. Let’s very generously add another 2.892 hours for putting them into piles of 100s, adding up the piles and filling in the final paperwork.

We are talking 32 man-hours in total at the most.

Yet TV coverage from Oldham town hall showed at least 50 people counting votes with twice as many pen-pushers watching on. For four hours!

Said Oldham’s council leader Charlie Parker: “Of course we could have done a Sunderland South and announced the result well before 11pm. But we decided to string it out for as long as possible as we’re all on double bubble tonight. Thank you London and the South East!”

The only thing more frustrating than deliberate inefficiency of civil servants are those fowlish chickens [jawohl – I am on comedic fire!!!] in Lower Saxony. Laying poisonous eggs after stuffing their stupid faces with poisonous food? What were they thinking? And why are German farmers being blamed rather than the greedy chickens? And don’t tell me the chickens were only following orders. It’s that nanny state mindset that blames McDonald’s for there being overweight people. People have to take responsibility for their actions. And so do chickens and councils.

Have a great month (year) and see you soon
Henning


April 2024

2nd - Faversham - The Alex - SOLD OUT
3rd - Faversham - The Alex - SOLD OUT
5th - Maidenhead - Norden Farm - SOLD OUT
6th - Luton - The Hat Factory - SOLD OUT
13th - Andover - The Lights - SOLD OUT
14th - Andover - The Lights - SOLD OUT
17th - Bath - Green Park Brasserie - SOLD OUT
18th - Bath - Green Park Brasserie - SOLD OUT
19th - Slough - The Curve - SOLD OUT
25th - Cholsey nr Wallingford - Cholsey Great Hall - SOLD OUT
26th - Cholsey nr Wallingford - Cholsey Great Hall - SOLD OUT
27th - Cholsey nr Wallingford - Cholsey Great Hall - SOLD OUT

May 2024

12th - Brighton - The Walrus - TICKETS
13th - Brighton - The Walrus - TICKETS
14th - Brighton - The Walrus - TICKETS
15th - Brighton - The Walrus - TICKETS
16th - Brighton - The Walrus - TICKETS
17th - Brighton - The Walrus - SOLD OUT
20th - Brighton - The Walrus - TICKETS
21st - Brighton - The Walrus - TICKETS
22nd - Brighton - The Walrus - TICKETS
23rd - Brighton - The Walrus - TICKETS
24th - Brighton - The Walrus - TICKETS

July 2024

19th - London - Betsey Trotwood - TICKETS

September 2024

28th - Winchester - Theatre Royal - SOLD OUT
29th - Epsom - Playhouse - TICKETS

October 2024

3rd - Southport - Southport Comedy Festival - TICKETS
4th - Leamington Spa - Royal Spa Centre - TICKETS
8th - Wavendon - The Stables - TICKETS
9th - Wavendon - The Stables - TICKETS
10th - Wavendon - The Stables - TICKETS
17th - Exeter - Corn Exchange - TICKETS
18th - Exeter - Corn Exchange - TICKETS
19th - Torquay - Babbacombe Theatre - TICKETS
24th - Bridport - Electric Palace - TICKETS
25th - Bridport - Electric Palace - TICKETS

November 2024

10th - Norwich - Playhouse - SOLD OUT
11th - Norwich - Playhouse - SOLD OUT
12th - Norwich - Playhouse - SOLD OUT
14th - London - Leicester Square Theatre - TICKETS
15th - London - Leicester Square Theatre - TICKETS
16th - London - Leicester Square Theatre - TICKETS
28th - London - Leicester Square Theatre - TICKETS
29th - London - Leicester Square Theatre - TICKETS
30th - London - Leicester Square Theatre - TICKETS

February 2025

14th - Leeds - City Varieties (On General Sale 28th March 2024)
15th - Leeds - City Varieties (On General Sale 28th March 2024)
20th - Kings Lynn - Corn Exchange - TICKETS
21st - Lincoln - Engine Shed - TICKETS
22nd - Leicester - De Montfort Hall - TICKETS
27th - Hayes - Beck Theatre - TICKETS
28th - Peterborough - The Cresset - TICKETS

March 2025

1st - Northampton - Derngate - TICKETS
2nd - Wycombe - Swan - TICKETS
14th - Dunstable - The Grove - TICKETS
15th - Southend - Cliffs Pavilion - TICKETS
16th - Dartford - Orchard - TICKETS
21st - Whitley Bay - Playhouse - TICKETS
27th - Worthing - Pavilion - TICKETS
28th - Folkestone - Cliffs Pavilion - TICKETS (On General Sale 28th March 2024 10am)
29th - Tunbridge - Assembly Hall - TICKETS

April 2025

3rd - Evesham - The Regal - TICKETS
4th - Swindon - Wyvern Theatre - TICKETS
5th - Swindon - Wyvern Theatre - TICKETS
11th - Bath - Forum - TICKETS SOON
12th - Guildford - G Live - TICKETS
24th - Canterbury - Marlowe - TICKETS (On General Sale 9th April 2024)
25th - Crawley - Hawth - TICKETS
26th - Reading - Hexagon - TICKETS

May 2025

2nd - Ipswich - Regent Theatre - TICKETS SOON
3rd - Cambridge - Corn Exchange - TICKETS
8th - Malvern - Festival Theatre - TICKETS
9th - Shrewsbury - Theatre Severn - TICKETS
10th - Shrewsbury - Theatre Severn - TICKETS
15th - Crewe - Lyceum - TICKETS
16th - Buxton - Opera House - TICKETS (On General Sale 28th March 10am)
17th - Salford - The Lowry - TICKETS
18th - Nottingham - Theatre Royal - TICKETS
21st - Yeovil - Westlands - TICKETS SOON
22nd - Weymouth - Pavilion - TICKETS
24th - Poole - Lighthouse - TICKETS

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