January 6th, 2011


January 2011


Dear Friends of German Comedy,

I have only just calmed down from the Oldham East and Saddleworth by-election. And my fury had nothing to do with Debbie Abrahams winning.
What got my goat was that polling stations closed at 10pm yet the result wasn’t announced until 2am. What have they been doing in those four hours???

Having extensively re-enacted the scenario at home I can guarantee that identifying which candidate has been voted for and chucking the ballot paper onto the relevant pile does not take more than 3 seconds each. This works out as 20 ballot papers per minute or 1,200 per hour.

Considering 34,930 votes were cast we are talking 29.108 man-hours. Let’s very generously add another 2.892 hours for putting them into piles of 100s, adding up the piles and filling in the final paperwork.

We are talking 32 man-hours in total at the most.

Yet TV coverage from Oldham town hall showed at least 50 people counting votes with twice as many pen-pushers watching on. For four hours!

Said Oldham’s council leader Charlie Parker: “Of course we could have done a Sunderland South and announced the result well before 11pm. But we decided to string it out for as long as possible as we’re all on double bubble tonight. Thank you London and the South East!”

The only thing more frustrating than deliberate inefficiency of civil servants are those fowlish chickens [jawohl – I am on comedic fire!!!] in Lower Saxony. Laying poisonous eggs after stuffing their stupid faces with poisonous food? What were they thinking? And why are German farmers being blamed rather than the greedy chickens? And don’t tell me the chickens were only following orders. It’s that nanny state mindset that blames McDonald’s for there being overweight people. People have to take responsibility for their actions. And so do chickens and councils.

Have a great month (year) and see you soon
Henning



February 2018

12 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
13 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
14 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
19 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
20 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS

March 2018

5 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
6 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
12 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
13 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
14 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
19 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
20 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
21 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
22 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT

April 2018

09 – BATH COMEDY FESTIVAL – Widcombe Social Club – TICKETS – Work In Progress
10 – BATH COMEDY FESTIVAL – Widcombe Social Club – TICKETS – Work In Progress
12 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress
13 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress
14 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress
18 – BEVERLEY – East Riding Theatre – TICKETS – Work In Progress
19 – POCKLINGTON – Arts Centre – TICKETS – Work In Progress
20 – POCKLINGTON – Arts Centre – TICKETS – Work In Progress
21 – BEVERLEY – East Riding Theatre – TICKETS – Work In Progress
29 – TRING – The Court Theatre – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress
30 – TRING – The Court Theatre – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress

May 2018

11 – GREAT TORRINGTON – Plough Arts – TICKETS – Work In Progress
12 – GREAT TORRINGTON – Plough Arts – TICKETS – Work In Progress
13 – LAUNCESTON – Town Hall – TICKETS – Work in Progress
17 – DARTMOUTH – The Flavel – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress
18 – FALMOUTH – The Poly – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress
19 – PENZANCE – The Acorn – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress

June 2018

2 – HAYWARDS HEATH – Clair Hall – TICKETS SOON – Work in Progress
7 – NORWICH – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON – Work in Progress
8 – NORWICH – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON – Work in Progress
9 – NORWICH – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON – Work in Progress

September 2018

20 – WAVENDON – The Stables – TICKETS SOON
21 – WAVENDON – The Stables – TICKETS SOON
22 – WAVENDON – The Stables – TICKETS SOON
27 – BRIDPORT – Electric Palace – TICKETS
29 – WIMBORNE – Tivoli Theatre – TICKETS

October 2018

4 – LOUGHBOROUGH – Town Hall – TICKETS SOON
6 – GUILDFORD – G Live – TICKETS SOON
11 – BEDFORD – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
12 – LEEDS – City Varieties – TICKETS SOON
13 – LEEDS – City Varieties – TICKETS SOON
18 – CHESTER – Story House – TICKETS SOON
19 – SALFORD – Lowry Lyric Theatre – TICKETS SOON
25 – KINGS LYNN – Corn Exchange – TICKETS SOON
26 – PETERBOROUGH – The Cresset – TICKETS
27 – LINCOLN – The Engine Shed – TICKETS

November 2018

8 – WORTHING – Pavilion – TICKETS SOON
9 – BEXHILL – De La Warr Pavilion – TICKETS SOON
10 – SOUTHEND – Cliff’s Pavilion – TICKETS SOON
15 – ST ALBANS – Alban Arena – TICKETS SOON
16 – DARTFORD – The Orchard – TICKETS SOON
17 – READING – Hexagon – TICKETS
21 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
22 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
23 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
24 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
28 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
29 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
30 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS

December 2018

1 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
5 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
6 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
7 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
8 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
12 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
13 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS 
14 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
15 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS 

 

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