Dear Friends of German Humour,
Welcome to the October newsletter. Is it really six weeks since the last
monthly bulletin? Time really does fly.
Obviously not for Jordan Blackshaw and Perry Sutcliffe, who will now have
to spend a long, long time in prison for what amounts to nothing more than
posting stupid messages on the internet. And unlike Independent columnist
Johann Hari they even did it under their own names.
But let the inappropriate severity of their punishment be a warning to
us all and let’s make sure this bulletin stays on the right side of the
law and doesn’t incite any public disorder!
So, does anyone know what happened with those smelly Dale Farm gypsies…?
But seriously, on the one hand society always criticises kids for being
lazy and unmotivated, and then there are two youngsters trying to get something
going and get sent down for four years for their troubles. What sort of
message does that send out?
The only places where initiative is still rewarded are those all-you-can-physically-eat
Chinese buffet restaurants.
Last week I went to one in Lincoln and I am happy to report that perseverance,
dedication and competitive spirit are indeed alive and kicking in Britain
Whilst visits to a carvery suffer from the logistical nightmare of having
to balance two kilos of meat, veg and potatoes on the one single plate you’re
allowed, there’s no need for any sort of self-control at a Chinese restaurant,
with its unlimited supply of plates.
The whole restaurant came together and there was a great camaraderie amongst
Lincolnshire’s most committed eaters, every single one of whom was determined
to cause maximum damage to the buffet by relentlessly blitzing it time and
again, bravely taking helping after helping of unidentifiable sustenance
covered in gloopy MRSA sauce.
It was an unrivalled triumph of willpower over taste and restraint and
as such not too different from a traditional family Christmas.
This reminds me of my upcoming Christmas gigs…..(now, that’s a seamless
Have a great month