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July 2012

Dear Friends of German Comedy,

Sorry for the delay to this month’s bulletin.

I was busy writing and previewing my new show “Henning Knows Bestest” in time for next month’s Edinburgh Festival, for now the UK’s biggest comedy trade fair.

But who knows for how much longer Scotland is going to be part of the UK?

After what that Scottish git Murray did to the nation at Wimbledon I’m sure no-one is going to shed a tear if the Jocks decide to crawl it alone.

And if that happens, Edinburgh will be back to its old role of hosting the bubonic plague, and nothing bigger.

Say what you like about Tim Henman, but at least he never fell at the last hurdle.

Come-on-Tim! always stayed in the tournament just long enough to make sure all tickets had sold before making a gentlemanly swift exit.

How Euro 2012 could have done with him. Loads of empty seats even at the final. Well, that happens if the only nation whose fans can afford the overpriced tickets gets unceremoniously dumped at the semi-final stage.

I hazily remember the glorious days when Germans weren’t disliked for having disposable income.
But for winning. Rather than imploding every time it matters.

The way it’s going I’m not surprised there was no German winner in my own No Surrender competition either!

Instead some foreigner has won the trip to Berlin, courtesy of German National Tourist Office.
Find out who,here:

And no, there’s no need to point out the intro is naff. I’m fully aware of that.

[4:34 riveting minutes later]

So, congratulations to the lucky winners.
If you didn’t win, don’t bother going to court.
The decision is final.
You should have come to more of my shows. Your misfortune cannot be re-negotiated.

Mind you, British judges might fancy some extra work. These days even large-scale tax avoiders aren’t tried by a judge in court, but by their good friend Sean Lock on a heavily edited TV panel show.

By the way, I’m not saying Jimmy Carr should be sent to prison purely because I’m trying to take over all those inane 100-best-this and 100-worst-that programmes.

Despite the fact,thatwith my nationality I am obviously a natural when it comes to putting things in numerical order.

If only it had been John Bishop rather than that Jimmy Carr!

At least people wouldn’t have railed against my profession along the lines of “Bloody comedians, they’re all crooks” but would have just gone “Ah well, typical Scouser”.

Which in turn would have led to locals setting up a trust to prove Bishop’s innocence and releasing a fundraiser version of Ferry Cross the Mersey. In short, business as usual.

Anyway, have a great month and try to enjoy the Olympic Games

Henning

Please find below some of my upcoming gigs.
Tickets for all shows on www.henningwehn.de

I also very much recommend OTTO KUHNLE’s solo show at the EDINBURGH Festival throughout AUGUST.
Tickets on http://www.ottokuhnle.de/index_e.html


March 2019

1 – BASINGSTOKE – The Anvil – SOLD OUT – Extra date 16 November – TICKETS
2 – CAMBRIDGE – Corn Exchange – TICKETS – Extra date 23 November
3 – EPSOM – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
7 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
8 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
9 – BUXTON – Opera House – SOLD OUT
22 – STEVENAGE – Concert Hall – SOLD OUT
23 – CREWE – Lyceum – SOLD OUT
29 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – SOLD OUT – Extra dates 11 & 12 October – TICKETS
30 – WREXHAM – William Aston Hall – SOLD OUT
31 – SHREWSBURY – Theatre Severn – SOLD OUT – Extra date 13 October –  TICKETS


April 2019

5 – PORT TALBOT – Prince’s Royal Theatre – TICKETS
6 – CARDIFF – St David’s Hall – TICKETS
7 – SOUTHAMPTON – The Mayflower Theatre – TICKETS
11 – BATH – Forum – TICKETS
12 – SALISBURY – City Hall – SOLD OUT Extra date 2st February 2020 TICKETS
13 – TORQUAY – Babbacombe Theatre – SOLD OUT
14 – CHELTENHAM – Town Hall – SOLD OUT Extra date added 20th February 2020


May 2019

2 – OXFORD – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
3 – OXFORD – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
4 – OXFORD – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
10 – COVENTRY – Warwick Arts Centre Butterworth Hall – TICKETS
11 – CHESTERFIELD – The Winding Wheel – TICKETS
12 – LICHFIELD – Garrick Theatre – SOLD OUT
16 – CHATHAM – Central Theatre – TICKETS
17 – MARGATE – Winter Gardens – TICKETS
18 – BEXHILL – De La Warr Pavilion – TICKETS
23 – YEOVIL – Westlands – TICKETS
24 – BARNSTAPLE – Queens Theatre – TICKETS
25 – WESTON-SUPER-MARE – Playhouse – TICKETS
26 – BRISTOL – Old Vic – SOLD OUT
30 – ST ALBANS – Alban Arena – SOLD OUT
31 – GUILDFORD – G Live – TICKETS


June 2019

1 – READING – Hexagon – TICKETS
6 – WORTHING – Pavilion – TICKETS
7 – SHANKLIN – Shanklin Theatre – SOLD OUT
8 – BOURNEMOUTH – Pavilion – TICKETS
15 – ST HELIER – Jersey Opera House – TICKETS


July 2019

27 – YORK – The Barbican – TICKETS
28 – MACCLESFIELD – Gawsworth Hall – TICKETS


August 2019

1 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
2 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
3 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall –  TICKETS
4 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall –  TICKETS
8 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall –  TICKETS
9 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall –  TICKETS
10 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
11 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
15 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
16 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
17 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
18 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
22 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
23 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
24 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
25 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS


September 2019

26 – REDHILL – The Harlequin – TICKETS
27 – WATFORD – Collosseum – TICKETS
28 – NORTHAMPTON – Derngate – TICKETS


October 2019

3 – CHELMSFORD – Civic Theatre – TICKETS
4 – IPSWICH – Regent Theatre – TICKETS
5 – NORWICH– Theatre Royal – TICKETS
6 – DARTFORD – The Orchard – TICKETS
10 – TUNBRIDGE WELLS– Assembly Hall – TICKETS
11 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS
12 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS
13 – SHREWSBURY – Theatre Severn – TICKETS
17 – NEW BRIGHTON – Floral Pavilion – TICKETS SOON
18 – GLASGOW – Pavilion Theatre – TICKETS
19 – DUNFERMLINE – Alhambra Theatre – TICKETS
20 – NEWCASTLE upon TYNE – Theatre Royal – TICKETS
25 – PORTSMOUTH – Guildhall – TICKETS
26 – LONDON – PALLADIUM – TICKETS


November 2019

7 – DONCASTER – Cast – TICKETS
8 – KENDAL – Leisure Centre – TICKETS
9 – CARLISLE – The Sands – TICKETS
14 – DUNSTABLE – Grove Theatre – TICKETS
15 – HIGH WYCOMBE – Wycombe Swan – TICKETS
16 – BASINGSTOKE – The Anvil – TICKETS
21 – CANTERBURY – Marlowe Theatre- TICKETS
22 – COLCHESTER – Charter Hall – TICKETS
23 – CAMBRIDGE – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
29 – DORKING – Dorking Halls – TICKETS
30 – CRAWLEY – The Hawth – TICKETS


December 2019

5 – BRADFORD – St Georges Hall – TICKETS
6 – MIDDLESBROUGH – Town Hall – TICKETS
8 – SCARBOROUGH – Spa Hall – TICKETS


February 2020

20 – CHELTENHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS SOON
21 – SALISBURY – City Hall – TICKETS
22 – WEYMOUTH – Pavilion- TICKETS
27 – RHYL – Pavilion – TICKETS
28 – STOCKPORT – Plaza – TICKETS
22 – PRESTON – Charter Theatre – TICKETS SOON


March 2020

6 – HULL – City Hall – TICKETS
7 – LINCOLN – Engine Shed – TICKETS SOON
8 – PETERBOROUGH – The Cresset – TICKETS
26 – SWANSEA – Grand Theatre – TICKETS
27 – NEWPORT – The Neon – TICKETS
28 – POOLE – Lighthouse – TICKETS SOON
29 – BRIGHTON – Dome – TICKETS


April 2020

2 – STAFFORD – Gatehouse – TICKETS SOON
3 – SOUTHPORT – Theatre – TICKETS SOON
5 – DOUGLAS ISLE OF MAN – Gaiety Theatre – TICKETS


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