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September 2012

Dear Friends of German Comedy,

Now the Paralympics are over, British society can go back to normal. Instead of cheering on the physically handicapped and highlighting how inspirational they all are, everybody can once again give their undivided attention to the mentally disabled stars of the Barclays Premier League.

It truly is the best league in the world. And if there’s ever not enough entertainment on the pitch then the FA will amuse fans with its brilliant side-shows, such as condemning FIFA for being racist yet continuing the ludicrous John Terry-Anton Ferdinand saga. Which is a bit like the pot calling the kettle a b**** c***.

Let’s hope the still-ongoing FA investigation will throw up another gem like Westminster magistrate Howard Riddle’s pronouncement that Ferdinand “wouldn’t have the sophistication to make up the allegations”.

Concluding that someone is too unintelligent to be capable of malice has been unheard of in legal circles since Frank Spencer was let off for distributing pornography by motorbike in that episode of Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em.

Going to court is about vindication. But being believed because you’re considered too thick to lie makes for a quite hollow vindication. And if the person you testify against is then still somehow being let off it has no redeeming features at all.

Luckily, if the court got its assessment right, Ferdinand is too dim to understand what was happening anyway and has taken the judge’s comment as a compliment.

Talking of handicaps, Marek Larwood and I conducted a scientific experiment on what fruit or vegetables are best to play golf with. Watch the outcome here:

Let’s end with a quick whinge about the Edinburgh Fringe [NB: this rhyme was unintentional]. The festival finally made the transition from the arts to the business pages, due to the incessant moaning and negativity of some of my colleagues about how much the Olympics paired with the recession ruined them financially and emotionally.

From what I saw the same business rules applied as they do every year.

If your advertising boards are bigger than your venue, you’re going to make a loss. If, in addition, the design of those advertising boards is off-putting, you’re going to make a massive loss. But if you manage to control your ego and stay clear of all that cynically-priced PR nonsense you will come out not too battered.

Or you could take the Olympics seriously as a business challenge, show up in Edinburgh after they’ve finished and your competition is demoralised and defeated, and do a short run of shows which – through the simple logic of supply-and-demand economics – will be all the more sought-after for their rarity.

People think that German humour is all about the laughs. But it is also about months of cold, cynical planning carried out with brutal efficiency. And free pens.

And yes, I realise I haven’t mentioned the quality of the show at all but that’s traditionally the least of any comedian’s concerns when in Edinburgh.

So, that’s enough smugness for now – have a great month and try not to despair too much at today’s predictably undignified circus at Loftus Road!

Henning

Please find below some of my upcoming gigs. It would be great to see you at one of those.

I particularly recommend the (Pseudo-) Authentic German Christmas shows at Leicester Square Theatre. First three Saturdays and Sundays in December.

And just like last year Gustav Brown will be tickling the hard-plastic ivories of his electric keyboard.

Tickets for all shows on www.henningwehn.de Except for the Kirkcaldy show, where the locals are too drunk and disorganised to put up a link. And the Lewes gigs, where the locals are too rich and comfortable to put up a link.


December 2018

1 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – SOLD OUT
5 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
6 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
7 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
8 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – SOLD OUT
12 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
13 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS 
14 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
15 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – SOLD OUT


February 2019

6 – EXETER – Corn Exchange – SOLD OUT
7 – EXETER – Corn Exchange – SOLD OUT
8 – SWINDON – Wyvern Theatre –TICKETS
9 – SWINDON – Wyvern Theatre –TICKETS
14 – ALDERSHOT – Princes Hall – TICKETS
15 – LEICESTER – De Montfort Hall – TICKETS
16 – BROMLEY – Churchill Theatre – SOLD OUT
17 – BRIGHTON – Dome – TICKETS
20 – WHITLEY BAY – Playhouse – TICKETS
21 – WHITLEY BAY – Playhouse – SOLD OUT – Extra date added 20 Feb
22 – HARROGATE – Royal Hall – SOLD OUT
23 – SHEFFIELD – Octagon – TICKETS


March 2019

1 – BASINGSTOKE – The Anvil – TICKETS
2 – CAMBRIDGE – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
3 – EPSOM – Playhouse – TICKETS
7 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – TICKETS
8 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – TICKETS – Added date
9 – BUXTON – Opera House – TICKETS
22 – STEVENAGE – Concert Hall – TICKETS
23 – CREWE – Lyceum – TICKETS
29 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – SOLD OUT – Extra dates 11 & 12 October – TICKETS
30 – WREXHAM – William Aston Hall – TICKETS 
31 – SHREWSBURY – Theatre Severn – SOLD OUT – Extra date 13 October –  TICKETS


April 2019

5 – PORT TALBOT – Prince’s Royal Theatre – TICKETS
6 – CARDIFF – St David’s Hall – TICKETS
7 – SOUTHAMPTON – The Mayflower Theatre – TICKETS
12 – SALISBURY – City Hall – TICKETS
13 – TORQUAY – Babbacombe Theatre – TICKETS
14 – CHELTENHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS


May 2019

2 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS
3 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS
4 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS
10 – COVENTRY – Warwick Arts Centre Butterworth Hall – TICKETS
11 – CHESTERFIELD – The Winding Wheel – TICKETS
12 – LICHFIELD – Garrick Theatre – SOLD OUT
16 – CHATHAM – Central Theatre – TICKETS
17 – MARGATE – Winter Gardens – TICKETS
18 – BEXHILL – De La Warr Pavilion – TICKETS
23 – YEOVIL – Westlands – TICKETS
24 – BARNSTAPLE – Queens Theatre – TICKETS
25 – WESTON-SUPER-MARE – Playhouse – TICKETS
26 – BRISTOL – Old Vic – TICKETS
30 – ST ALBANS – Alban Arena – TICKETS
31 – GUILDFORD – G Live – TICKETS


June 2019

1 – READING – Hexagon – TICKETS
6 – WORTHING – Pavilion – TICKETS
7 – SHANKLIN – Shanklin Theatre – TICKETS
8 – BOURNEMOUTH – Pavilion – TICKETS
15 – ST HELIER – Jersey Opera House – TICKETS


July 2019

27 – YORK – The Barbican – TICKETS
28 – MACCLESFIELD – Gawsworth Hall – TICKETS


August 2019

1 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
2 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
3 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
4 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
8 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
9 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
10 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
11 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
15 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
16 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
17 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
18 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
22 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
23 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
24 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
25 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS


September 2019

26 – REDHILL – The Harlequin – TICKETS
27 – WATFORD – Collosseum – TICKETS
28 – NORTHAMPTON – Derngate – TICKETS SOON


October 2019

3 – CHELMSFORD – Civic Theatre – TICKETS SOON
4 – IPSWICH – Regent Theatre – TICKETS
5 – NORWICH– Theatre Royal – TICKETS
6 – DARTFORD – The Orchard – TICKETS SOON
10 – TUNBRIDGE WELLS– Assembly Hall – TICKETS
11 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS
12 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS
13 – SHREWSBURY – Theatre Severn – TICKETS
18 – GLASGOW – Pavilion Theatre – TICKETS
19 – DUNFERMLINE – Alhambra Theatre – TICKETS SOON
20 – NEWCASTLE upon TYNE – Theatre Royal – TICKETS SOON
25 – PORTSMOUTH – Guildhall – TICKETS


November 2019

7 – DONCASTER – Cast – TICKETS SOON
8 – KENDAL – Leisure Centre – TICKETS
9 – CARLISLE – The Sands – TICKETS
14 – DUNSTABLE – Grove Theatre – TICKETS
15 – HIGH WYCOMBE – Wycombe Swan – TICKETS
22 – COLCHESTER – Charter Hall – TICKETS From 10am Monday 3 December
29 – DORKING – Dorking Halls – TICKETS SOON
30 – CRAWLEY – The Hawth – TICKETS SOON


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