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July 2012

Dear Friends of German Comedy,

Sorry for the delay to this month’s bulletin.

I was busy writing and previewing my new show “Henning Knows Bestest” in time for next month’s Edinburgh Festival, for now the UK’s biggest comedy trade fair.

But who knows for how much longer Scotland is going to be part of the UK?

After what that Scottish git Murray did to the nation at Wimbledon I’m sure no-one is going to shed a tear if the Jocks decide to crawl it alone.

And if that happens, Edinburgh will be back to its old role of hosting the bubonic plague, and nothing bigger.

Say what you like about Tim Henman, but at least he never fell at the last hurdle.

Come-on-Tim! always stayed in the tournament just long enough to make sure all tickets had sold before making a gentlemanly swift exit.

How Euro 2012 could have done with him. Loads of empty seats even at the final. Well, that happens if the only nation whose fans can afford the overpriced tickets gets unceremoniously dumped at the semi-final stage.

I hazily remember the glorious days when Germans weren’t disliked for having disposable income.
But for winning. Rather than imploding every time it matters.

The way it’s going I’m not surprised there was no German winner in my own No Surrender competition either!

Instead some foreigner has won the trip to Berlin, courtesy of German National Tourist Office.
Find out who,here:

And no, there’s no need to point out the intro is naff. I’m fully aware of that.

[4:34 riveting minutes later]

So, congratulations to the lucky winners.
If you didn’t win, don’t bother going to court.
The decision is final.
You should have come to more of my shows. Your misfortune cannot be re-negotiated.

Mind you, British judges might fancy some extra work. These days even large-scale tax avoiders aren’t tried by a judge in court, but by their good friend Sean Lock on a heavily edited TV panel show.

By the way, I’m not saying Jimmy Carr should be sent to prison purely because I’m trying to take over all those inane 100-best-this and 100-worst-that programmes.

Despite the fact,thatwith my nationality I am obviously a natural when it comes to putting things in numerical order.

If only it had been John Bishop rather than that Jimmy Carr!

At least people wouldn’t have railed against my profession along the lines of “Bloody comedians, they’re all crooks” but would have just gone “Ah well, typical Scouser”.

Which in turn would have led to locals setting up a trust to prove Bishop’s innocence and releasing a fundraiser version of Ferry Cross the Mersey. In short, business as usual.

Anyway, have a great month and try to enjoy the Olympic Games

Henning

Please find below some of my upcoming gigs.
Tickets for all shows on www.henningwehn.de

I also very much recommend OTTO KUHNLE’s solo show at the EDINBURGH Festival throughout AUGUST.
Tickets on http://www.ottokuhnle.de/index_e.html


September 2018

19 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
20 – WAVENDON – The Stables – SOLD OUT
21 – WAVENDON – The Stables – SOLD OUT
22 – WAVENDON – The Stables – SOLD OUT
26 – BRIDPORT – Electric Palace – SOLD OUT
27 – BRIDPORT – Electric Palace – SOLD OUT
28 – WIMBORNE – Tivoli Theatre – SOLD OUT
29 – WIMBORNE – Tivoli Theatre – SOLD OUT


October 2018

4 – LOUGHBOROUGH – Town Hall – SOLD OUT
5 – MALVERN – Forum – SOLD OUT
6 – GUILDFORD – G Live – SOLD OUT – Extra date 31st May 2019
7 – LEAMINGTON SPA – Royal Spa Centre – SOLD OUT
11 – BEDFORD – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
12 – LEEDS – City Varieties – SOLD OUT
13 – LEEDS – City Varieties – SOLD OUT
18 – CHESTER – Story House – SOLD OUT
19 – SALFORD – Lowry Lyric Theatre – TICKETS
20 – SALFORD – Lowry Lyric Theatre – TICKETS
25 – KINGS LYNN – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
26 – PETERBOROUGH – The Cresset – TICKETS
27 – LINCOLN – The Engine Shed – TICKETS


November 2018

8 – WORTHING – Pavilion – SOLD OUT – Extra date 6 June 2019 – TICKETS
9 – BEXHILL – De La Warr Pavilion – SOLD OUT – Extra date 18 May 2019 – TICKETS
10 – SOUTHEND – Cliff’s Pavilion – TICKETS
15 – ST ALBANS – Alban Arena – SOLD OUT – Extra date 30 May 2019 – TICKETS
16 – DARTFORD – The Orchard – TICKETS
17 – READING – Hexagon – SOLD OUT – Extra date 1 Jun 2019 – TICKETS
21 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
22 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
23 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
24 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
28 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
29 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
30 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS


December 2018

1 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
5 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
6 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
7 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
8 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
12 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
13 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS 
14 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
15 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS 


February 2019

6 – EXETER – Corn Exchange –TICKETS
7 – EXETER – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
8 – SWINDON – Wyvern Theatre –TICKETS
9 – SWINDON – Wyvern Theatre –TICKETS
14 – ALDERSHOT – Princes Hall – TICKETS
15 – LEICESTER – De Montfort Hall – TICKETS
16 – BROMLEY – Churchill Theatre –TICKETS
17 – BRIGHTON – Dome – TICKETS
20 – WHITLEY BAY – Playhouse – TICKETS
21 – WHITLEY BAY – Playhouse – SOLD OUT – Extra date added 20 Feb
22 – HARROGATE – Royal Hall – TICKETS
23 – SHEFFIELD – Octagon – TICKETS


March 2019

1 – BASINGSTOKE – The Anvil – TICKETS
2 – CAMBRIDGE – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
3 – EPSOM – Playhouse – TICKETS
7 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – TICKETS
8 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – TICKETS – Added date
9 – BUXTON – Opera House – TICKETS
22 – STEVENAGE – Concert Hall – TICKETS
23 – CREWE – Lyceum – TICKETS
29 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS
30 – WREXHAM – William Aston Hall – TICKETS 
31 – SHREWSBURY – Theatre Severn – TICKETS


April 2019

5 – PORT TALBOT – Prince’s Royal Theatre – TICKETS
6 – CARDIFF – St David’s Hall – TICKETS
7 – SOUTHAMPTON – The Mayflower Theatre – TICKETS
12 – SALISBURY – City Hall – TICKETS
13 – TORQUAY – Babbacombe Theatre – TICKETS
14 – CHELTENHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS


May 2019

2 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS
3 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS
4 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS
10 – COVENTRY – Warwick Arts Centre Butterworth Hall – TICKETS
11 – CHESTERFIELD – The Winding Wheel – TICKETS SOON
12 – LICHFIELD – Garrick Theatre – TICKETS
16 – CHATHAM – Central Theatre – TICKETS
17 – MARGATE – Winter Gardens – TICKETS
18 – BEXHILL – De La Warr Pavilion – TICKETS
23 – YEOVIL – Westlands – TICKETS
24 – BARNSTAPLE – Queens Theatre – TICKETS
25 – WESTON-SUPER-MARE – Playhouse – TICKETS
30 – ST ALBANS – Alban Arena – TICKETS
31 – GUILDFORD – G Live – TICKETS SOON


June 2019

1 – READING – Hexagon – TICKETS
6 – WORTHING – Pavilion – TICKETS
7 – SHANKLIN – Shanklin Theatre – TICKETS
8 – BOURNEMOUTH – Pavilion – TICKETS
15 – ST HELIER – Jersey Opera House – TICKETS SOON


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