This Bulletin is from March 3rd, 2006

Do not get too excited, Englanders – you haven’t got a Pope

Being the German Comedy Ambassador in the UK circuit isn’t easy at the best of times but it gets even trickier if Nationalmannschaft, the Germany national team, do not perform. And this week, German football reached another low when we were trashed 4-1 by Italy. We are such easy prey at the moment that when Italy were 2-0 up after ten minutes, our old friends didn’t bother wasting the next 70 minutes rolling around on the floor and defending as usual but actually decided to attack. At least it wasn’t 5-1.

With fewer than 100 days to go until Germany’s World Cup opening game against Costa Rica, people from Munich to Hamburg are now fearing for the worst. Years of preparation and anticipation and this time we could be written off in the group stage before anyone can say “you can’t write off the Germans”.

This latest failure does not come as a surprise, though, as German football has been struggling for some time now. In fact, we haven’t won a significant international competition for almost ten years and haven’t even been to the final of one for almost four. Can you imagine?
Really the failure of German football is only part of a much bigger problem in German society, though — complacency. Hard work, decency and determination are out of public favour since the reunification.
Last year’s final of the Confederations Cup in Hanover showed what is wrong with modern Germany in a nutshell. Germany were 3-2 down and fans started singing and celebrating because they felt so well “entertained”.
This outrageously inappropriate behaviour would not have happened in the good old days. The players would have been publicly condemned and pelted with stones. There must be no praise for losing. We are not Scotland.

Recent research suggests that Germans are now better liked abroad because of the present economic failure. This apparently makes Germans come across as more human. I must admit, I preferred the days when we were regarded as clinically efficient super-humans and won the World Cups to back this up.

Right now the only thing we Germans can be proud of is that we own the Pope (which I like to tell any Italian who thinks it’s funny that we lost 4-1). In fact, I’m so disillusioned with our team that I would accept a deal where Germany crash out in the group stage as long as the same happens to England and, first and foremost, to Holland.
Three World Cups and One World Pope!


Current Live Dates...

March 2019

1 – BASINGSTOKE – The Anvil – SOLD OUT – Extra date 16 November – TICKETS
2 – CAMBRIDGE – Corn Exchange – TICKETS – Extra date 23 November
3 – EPSOM – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
7 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
8 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
9 – BUXTON – Opera House – SOLD OUT
22 – STEVENAGE – Concert Hall – SOLD OUT
23 – CREWE – Lyceum – SOLD OUT
29 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – SOLD OUT – Extra dates 11 & 12 October – TICKETS
30 – WREXHAM – William Aston Hall – SOLD OUT
31 – SHREWSBURY – Theatre Severn – SOLD OUT – Extra date 13 October –  TICKETS


April 2019

5 – PORT TALBOT – Prince’s Royal Theatre – TICKETS
6 – CARDIFF – St David’s Hall – TICKETS
7 – SOUTHAMPTON – The Mayflower Theatre – TICKETS
11 – BATH – Forum – TICKETS
12 – SALISBURY – City Hall – SOLD OUT Extra date 2st February 2020 TICKETS
13 – TORQUAY – Babbacombe Theatre – SOLD OUT
14 – CHELTENHAM – Town Hall – SOLD OUT Extra date added 20th February 2020


May 2019

2 – OXFORD – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
3 – OXFORD – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
4 – OXFORD – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
10 – COVENTRY – Warwick Arts Centre Butterworth Hall – TICKETS
11 – CHESTERFIELD – The Winding Wheel – TICKETS
12 – LICHFIELD – Garrick Theatre – SOLD OUT
16 – CHATHAM – Central Theatre – TICKETS
17 – MARGATE – Winter Gardens – TICKETS
18 – BEXHILL – De La Warr Pavilion – TICKETS
23 – YEOVIL – Westlands – TICKETS
24 – BARNSTAPLE – Queens Theatre – TICKETS
25 – WESTON-SUPER-MARE – Playhouse – TICKETS
26 – BRISTOL – Old Vic – SOLD OUT
30 – ST ALBANS – Alban Arena – SOLD OUT
31 – GUILDFORD – G Live – TICKETS


June 2019

1 – READING – Hexagon – TICKETS
6 – WORTHING – Pavilion – TICKETS
7 – SHANKLIN – Shanklin Theatre – SOLD OUT
8 – BOURNEMOUTH – Pavilion – TICKETS
15 – ST HELIER – Jersey Opera House – TICKETS


July 2019

27 – YORK – The Barbican – TICKETS
28 – MACCLESFIELD – Gawsworth Hall – TICKETS


August 2019

1 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
2 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
3 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall –  TICKETS
4 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall –  TICKETS
8 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall –  TICKETS
9 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall –  TICKETS
10 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
11 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
15 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
16 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
17 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
18 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
22 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
23 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
24 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
25 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS


September 2019

26 – REDHILL – The Harlequin – TICKETS
27 – WATFORD – Collosseum – TICKETS
28 – NORTHAMPTON – Derngate – TICKETS


October 2019

3 – CHELMSFORD – Civic Theatre – TICKETS
4 – IPSWICH – Regent Theatre – TICKETS
5 – NORWICH– Theatre Royal – TICKETS
6 – DARTFORD – The Orchard – TICKETS
10 – TUNBRIDGE WELLS– Assembly Hall – TICKETS
11 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS
12 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS
13 – SHREWSBURY – Theatre Severn – TICKETS
17 – NEW BRIGHTON – Floral Pavilion – TICKETS SOON
18 – GLASGOW – Pavilion Theatre – TICKETS
19 – DUNFERMLINE – Alhambra Theatre – TICKETS
20 – NEWCASTLE upon TYNE – Theatre Royal – TICKETS
25 – PORTSMOUTH – Guildhall – TICKETS
26 – LONDON – PALLADIUM – TICKETS


November 2019

7 – DONCASTER – Cast – TICKETS
8 – KENDAL – Leisure Centre – TICKETS
9 – CARLISLE – The Sands – TICKETS
14 – DUNSTABLE – Grove Theatre – TICKETS
15 – HIGH WYCOMBE – Wycombe Swan – TICKETS
16 – BASINGSTOKE – The Anvil – TICKETS
21 – CANTERBURY – Marlowe Theatre- TICKETS
22 – COLCHESTER – Charter Hall – TICKETS
23 – CAMBRIDGE – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
29 – DORKING – Dorking Halls – TICKETS
30 – CRAWLEY – The Hawth – TICKETS


December 2019

5 – BRADFORD – St Georges Hall – TICKETS
6 – MIDDLESBROUGH – Town Hall – TICKETS
8 – SCARBOROUGH – Spa Hall – TICKETS


February 2020

20 – CHELTENHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS SOON
21 – SALISBURY – City Hall – TICKETS
22 – WEYMOUTH – Pavilion- TICKETS
27 – RHYL – Pavilion – TICKETS
28 – STOCKPORT – Plaza – TICKETS
22 – PRESTON – Charter Theatre – TICKETS SOON


March 2020

6 – HULL – City Hall – TICKETS
7 – LINCOLN – Engine Shed – TICKETS SOON
8 – PETERBOROUGH – The Cresset – TICKETS
26 – SWANSEA – Grand Theatre – TICKETS
27 – NEWPORT – The Neon – TICKETS
28 – POOLE – Lighthouse – TICKETS SOON
29 – BRIGHTON – Dome – TICKETS


April 2020

2 – STAFFORD – Gatehouse – TICKETS SOON
3 – SOUTHPORT – Theatre – TICKETS SOON
5 – DOUGLAS ISLE OF MAN – Gaiety Theatre – TICKETS


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