This Bulletin is from June 12th, 2006

Sun, schnapps and English efficiency

Jawohl! The World Cup went off to a great start. All grounds are finished on time (yes, such a thing is possible), the transport system works impeccably, the locals are welcoming and the sun has got its hat on. The Fatherland did itself proud. Again.

I was so nervous the night before the opening match that I could hardly find any sleep. By 4am I was so fed up with rolling round the bed worrying whether all those dumb foreigners would value the opening ceremony’s oompah bands, that I had to get up and down schnapps in order to find my inner peace.

I’ll fly out to Germany today, so I had to watch Germany’s first match in London, at the Goethe Institut, the German cultural embassy. Well I say ‘cultural embassy’…cynics might say the institute promotes a high-brow society that hardly any German recognizes. Unless both your parents were philosophy lecturers and had a piano and boring books in the living room that is.

As great a success as the opening ceremony was, I was far from happy with the match. Scoring four is all good and well but conceding two against the Sunday League side that is Costa Rica is shocking. And please don’t get me started on the received wisdom that an opening game is always difficult, because I’m sure you’ll find that a final is usually even more difficult. Unless you’re Man United and get Millwall in the FA Cup.

I’m a firm subscriber to the idea that a good attack wins you matches whilst a good defence wins you the title. Keeping a clean sheet is imperative and England should therefore take a lot of pride out of their 1-0 victory against Paraguay. I particularly liked England’s complete lack of unnecessary flair. Football is not about entertainment, football is about winning. And that is exactly what England did.


Current Live Dates...

July 2018

24 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
25 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
26 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT


August 2018

2 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – SOLD OUT
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15 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – SOLD OUT
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17 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – SOLD OUT
18 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – SOLD OUT
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22 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – SOLD OUT
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24 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – SOLD OUT
25 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – SOLD OUT
26 EDINBURGH – Just The Tonic Caves – SOLD OUT


September 2018

20 – WAVENDON – The Stables – SOLD OUT
21 – WAVENDON – The Stables – SOLD OUT
22 – WAVENDON – The Stables – SOLD OUT
26 – BRIDPORT – Electric Palace – SOLD OUT
27 – BRIDPORT – Electric Palace – SOLD OUT
28 – WIMBORNE – Tivoli Theatre – SOLD OUT
29 – WIMBORNE – Tivoli Theatre – SOLD OUT


October 2018

4 – LOUGHBOROUGH – Town Hall – TICKETS
5 – MALVERN – Forum – SOLD OUT
6 – GUILDFORD – G Live – SOLD OUT
7 – LEAMINGTON SPA – Royal Spa Centre – TICKETS
11 – BEDFORD – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
12 – LEEDS – City Varieties – TICKETS
13 – LEEDS – City Varieties – TICKETS
18 – CHESTER – Story House – SOLD OUT
19 – SALFORD – Lowry Lyric Theatre – TICKETS
20 – SALFORD – Lowry Lyric Theatre – TICKETS
25 – KINGS LYNN – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
26 – PETERBOROUGH – The Cresset – TICKETS
27 – LINCOLN – The Engine Shed – TICKETS


November 2018

8 – WORTHING – Pavilion – TICKETS
9 – BEXHILL – De La Warr Pavilion – TICKETS
10 – SOUTHEND – Cliff’s Pavilion – TICKETS
15 – ST ALBANS – Alban Arena – SOLD OUT – Extra date 30 May 2019 – TICKETS
16 – DARTFORD – The Orchard – TICKETS
17 – READING – Hexagon – TICKETS
21 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
22 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
23 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
24 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
28 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
29 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
30 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS


December 2018

1 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
5 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
6 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
7 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
8 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
12 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
13 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS 
14 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
15 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS 

 


February 2019

6 – EXETER – Corn Exchange –TICKETS
7 – EXETER – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
8 – SWINDON – Wyvern Theatre –TICKETS
9 – SWINDON – Wyvern Theatre –TICKETS
14 – ALDERSHOT – Princes Hall – TICKETS
15 – LEICESTER – De Montfort Hall – TICKETS
16 – BROMLEY – Churchill Theatre –TICKETS
17 – BRIGHTON – Dome – TICKETS
21 – WHITLEY BAY – Playhouse – TICKETS
22 – HARROGATE – Royal Hall – TICKETS
23 – SHEFFIELD – Octagon – TICKETS


March 2019

1 – BASINGSTOKE – The Anvil – TICKETS
2 – CAMBRIDGE – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
7 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – TICKETS
9 – BUXTON – Opera House – TICKETS
22 – STEVENAGE – Concert Hall – TICKETS
23 – CREWE – Lyceum – TICKETS
29 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS
30 – WREXHAM – William Aston Hall – TICKETS 
31 – SHREWSBURY – Theatre Severn – TICKETS


April 2019

5 – PORT TALBOT – Prince’s Royal Theatre – TICKETS
6 – CARDIFF – St David’s Hall – TICKETS
7 – SOUTHAMPTON – The Mayflower Theatre – TICKETS
12 – SALISBURY – City Hall – TICKETS
13 – TORQUAY – Babbacombe Theatre – TICKETS
14 – CHELTENHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS


May 2019

2 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON
3 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON
4 – OXFORD – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON
10 – COVENTRY – Warwick Arts Centre Butterworth Hall – TICKETS
16 – CHATHAM – Central Theatre – TICKETS SOON
17 – MARGATE – Winter Gardens – TICKETS
23 – YEOVIL – Westlands – TICKETS SOON
24 – BARNSTAPLE – Queens Theatre – TICKETS SOON
25 – WESTON-SUPER-MARE – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON


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