First Published in The Independent, June 20th 2006


The great tram trauma


The World Cup has so far been a massive success. All 12 host cities have by now staged at least two matches and everybody is on their best behaviour. Even the East Germans and the English. The peaceful party atmosphere is greatly helped by the weather, as it’s just too hot to hurl plastic chairs around. You much rather sit on them. Preferably in the shade. It was therefore very unlucky that the sun didn’t wear its hat on the day of the Germany-Poland match. Feel free to blame the 430 arrests on the lower temperatures. No, blame it on the Poles.

Last Friday I was unfortunate enough to be not only an eyewitness but also a victim of the World Cup’s first proper organisational cock-up. Well, the first one that couldn’t be blamed on Fifa. Bogestra, Gelsenkirchen’s public transport provider obviously forgot about the Argentina-Serbia match and did not provide trams from the station to the ground. Once the first tram arrived after a 40-minute wait I found myself in a gigantic scrum fierce enough to push back the whole England rugby team. Not that this is saying much at the moment.

Angela Merkel must be praying for Germany to stay in the competition for as long as possible. Not only because success on the pitch usually improves a Chancellor’s popularity but because the government gets away with murder as long as Klinsmann’s boys are marching on. Last week saw VAT being increased from 16 per cent to a mind-boggling 19 per cent. However, people were so busy watching football, drinking beer and singing the national anthem that nobody could be bothered to storm the Reichstag.

Today will decide whether England and Germany will meet in the last 16. Given the choice between a party with 70,000 drunk English or 50,000 Swedes, among them legions of gorgeous blonde girls, one should hope for the latter. I’m not saying football is none of a woman’s business and they shouldn’t be at the World Cup in the first place, but I wonder how serious about football those ladies really are. I know for a fact that none of them has ever been to see her team turn out on a cold Tuesday night in Grimsby.

Therefore, let’s hope that T&T pull it off against Paraguay and Germany get to play Dwight Yorke and his mates next Saturday. This would be the easiest option and the match also gives German football the chance to inflict hurt on the former Manchester United man Yorke in revenge for Bayern Munich’s terrible night in Barcelona in 1999.
Whatever happens, Germany must win Group A as coming second would mean we’d have to play our quarter-final in Gelsenkirchen and, quite frankly, they don’t deserve a Deutschland match after the embarrassing tram chaos.

Posted by Henning Wehn on Tuesday, June 20th, 2006.
Filed Under: Writing



CLICK HERE TO GO BACK



Enjoy this blast from the past? Here's some up-to-date live shows coming up..

February 2018

12 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
13 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
14 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT
19 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
20 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS

March 2018

5 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
6 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
12 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
13 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
14 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
19 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
20 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
21 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – TICKETS
22 – LONDON – Betsey Trotwood – SOLD OUT

April 2018

09 – BATH COMEDY FESTIVAL – Widcombe Social Club – TICKETS – Work In Progress
10 – BATH COMEDY FESTIVAL – Widcombe Social Club – TICKETS – Work In Progress
12 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress
13 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress
14 – BORDON – The Phoenix Theatre – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress
18 – BEVERLEY – East Riding Theatre – TICKETS – Work In Progress
19 – POCKLINGTON – Arts Centre – TICKETS – Work In Progress
20 – POCKLINGTON – Arts Centre – TICKETS – Work In Progress
21 – BEVERLEY – East Riding Theatre – TICKETS – Work In Progress
29 – TRING – The Court Theatre – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress
30 – TRING – The Court Theatre – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress

May 2018

11 – GREAT TORRINGTON – Plough Arts – TICKETS – Work In Progress
12 – GREAT TORRINGTON – Plough Arts – TICKETS – Work In Progress
13 – LAUNCESTON – Town Hall – TICKETS – Work in Progress
17 – DARTMOUTH – The Flavel – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress
18 – FALMOUTH – The Poly – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress
19 – PENZANCE – The Acorn – TICKETS SOON – Work In Progress

June 2018

2 – HAYWARDS HEATH – Clair Hall – TICKETS SOON – Work in Progress
7 – NORWICH – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON – Work in Progress
8 – NORWICH – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON – Work in Progress
9 – NORWICH – Playhouse – TICKETS SOON – Work in Progress

September 2018

20 – WAVENDON – The Stables – TICKETS SOON
21 – WAVENDON – The Stables – TICKETS SOON
22 – WAVENDON – The Stables – TICKETS SOON
27 – BRIDPORT – Electric Palace – TICKETS
29 – WIMBORNE – Tivoli Theatre – TICKETS

October 2018

4 – LOUGHBOROUGH – Town Hall – TICKETS SOON
6 – GUILDFORD – G Live – TICKETS SOON
11 – BEDFORD – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
12 – LEEDS – City Varieties – TICKETS SOON
13 – LEEDS – City Varieties – TICKETS SOON
18 – CHESTER – Story House – TICKETS SOON
19 – SALFORD – Lowry Lyric Theatre – TICKETS SOON
25 – KINGS LYNN – Corn Exchange – TICKETS SOON
26 – PETERBOROUGH – The Cresset – TICKETS
27 – LINCOLN – The Engine Shed – TICKETS

November 2018

8 – WORTHING – Pavilion – TICKETS SOON
9 – BEXHILL – De La Warr Pavilion – TICKETS SOON
10 – SOUTHEND – Cliff’s Pavilion – TICKETS SOON
15 – ST ALBANS – Alban Arena – TICKETS SOON
16 – DARTFORD – The Orchard – TICKETS SOON
17 – READING – Hexagon – TICKETS
21 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
22 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
23 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
24 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
28 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
29 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
30 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS

December 2018

1 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
5 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
6 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
7 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
8 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
12 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
13 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS 
14 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS
15 – LONDON – Leicester Square Theatre – TICKETS 

 

Westphalia Is Not An Option

New DVD!!!
DVD on Amazon

See Henning Live!

Eins, Zwei, DIY

You've got some catching up to do!
Have a look at Henning's previous offerings.
Download now!
DVD on Amazon
Download at iTunes

Henning Knows Bestest DVD

No Surrender DVD

You've got A LOT of catching up to do!
Have a look at Henning's earlier offering.
Download now!

Henning’s Newsletter

Pop your email address in here!