This Bulletin is from June 20th, 2006

The great tram trauma

The World Cup has so far been a massive success. All 12 host cities have by now staged at least two matches and everybody is on their best behaviour. Even the East Germans and the English. The peaceful party atmosphere is greatly helped by the weather, as it’s just too hot to hurl plastic chairs around. You much rather sit on them. Preferably in the shade. It was therefore very unlucky that the sun didn’t wear its hat on the day of the Germany-Poland match. Feel free to blame the 430 arrests on the lower temperatures. No, blame it on the Poles.

Last Friday I was unfortunate enough to be not only an eyewitness but also a victim of the World Cup’s first proper organisational cock-up. Well, the first one that couldn’t be blamed on Fifa. Bogestra, Gelsenkirchen’s public transport provider obviously forgot about the Argentina-Serbia match and did not provide trams from the station to the ground. Once the first tram arrived after a 40-minute wait I found myself in a gigantic scrum fierce enough to push back the whole England rugby team. Not that this is saying much at the moment.

Angela Merkel must be praying for Germany to stay in the competition for as long as possible. Not only because success on the pitch usually improves a Chancellor’s popularity but because the government gets away with murder as long as Klinsmann’s boys are marching on. Last week saw VAT being increased from 16 per cent to a mind-boggling 19 per cent. However, people were so busy watching football, drinking beer and singing the national anthem that nobody could be bothered to storm the Reichstag.

Today will decide whether England and Germany will meet in the last 16. Given the choice between a party with 70,000 drunk English or 50,000 Swedes, among them legions of gorgeous blonde girls, one should hope for the latter. I’m not saying football is none of a woman’s business and they shouldn’t be at the World Cup in the first place, but I wonder how serious about football those ladies really are. I know for a fact that none of them has ever been to see her team turn out on a cold Tuesday night in Grimsby.

Therefore, let’s hope that T&T pull it off against Paraguay and Germany get to play Dwight Yorke and his mates next Saturday. This would be the easiest option and the match also gives German football the chance to inflict hurt on the former Manchester United man Yorke in revenge for Bayern Munich’s terrible night in Barcelona in 1999.
Whatever happens, Germany must win Group A as coming second would mean we’d have to play our quarter-final in Gelsenkirchen and, quite frankly, they don’t deserve a Deutschland match after the embarrassing tram chaos.


Current Live Dates...

March 2019

1 – BASINGSTOKE – The Anvil – SOLD OUT – Extra date 16 November – TICKETS
2 – CAMBRIDGE – Corn Exchange – TICKETS – Extra date 23 November
3 – EPSOM – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
7 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
8 – NOTTINGHAM – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
9 – BUXTON – Opera House – SOLD OUT
22 – STEVENAGE – Concert Hall – SOLD OUT
23 – CREWE – Lyceum – SOLD OUT
29 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – SOLD OUT – Extra dates 11 & 12 October – TICKETS
30 – WREXHAM – William Aston Hall – SOLD OUT
31 – SHREWSBURY – Theatre Severn – SOLD OUT – Extra date 13 October –  TICKETS


April 2019

5 – PORT TALBOT – Prince’s Royal Theatre – TICKETS
6 – CARDIFF – St David’s Hall – TICKETS
7 – SOUTHAMPTON – The Mayflower Theatre – TICKETS
11 – BATH – Forum – TICKETS
12 – SALISBURY – City Hall – SOLD OUT Extra date 2st February 2020 TICKETS
13 – TORQUAY – Babbacombe Theatre – SOLD OUT
14 – CHELTENHAM – Town Hall – SOLD OUT Extra date added 20th February 2020


May 2019

2 – OXFORD – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
3 – OXFORD – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
4 – OXFORD – Playhouse – SOLD OUT
10 – COVENTRY – Warwick Arts Centre Butterworth Hall – TICKETS
11 – CHESTERFIELD – The Winding Wheel – TICKETS
12 – LICHFIELD – Garrick Theatre – SOLD OUT
16 – CHATHAM – Central Theatre – TICKETS
17 – MARGATE – Winter Gardens – TICKETS
18 – BEXHILL – De La Warr Pavilion – TICKETS
23 – YEOVIL – Westlands – TICKETS
24 – BARNSTAPLE – Queens Theatre – TICKETS
25 – WESTON-SUPER-MARE – Playhouse – TICKETS
26 – BRISTOL – Old Vic – SOLD OUT
30 – ST ALBANS – Alban Arena – SOLD OUT
31 – GUILDFORD – G Live – TICKETS


June 2019

1 – READING – Hexagon – TICKETS
6 – WORTHING – Pavilion – TICKETS
7 – SHANKLIN – Shanklin Theatre – SOLD OUT
8 – BOURNEMOUTH – Pavilion – TICKETS
15 – ST HELIER – Jersey Opera House – TICKETS


July 2019

27 – YORK – The Barbican – TICKETS
28 – MACCLESFIELD – Gawsworth Hall – TICKETS


August 2019

1 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
2 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
3 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall –  TICKETS
4 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall –  TICKETS
8 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall –  TICKETS
9 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall –  TICKETS
10 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
11 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
15 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
16 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
17 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
18 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
22 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
23 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
24 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS
25 – EDINBURGH – The Queen’s Hall – TICKETS


September 2019

26 – REDHILL – The Harlequin – TICKETS
27 – WATFORD – Collosseum – TICKETS
28 – NORTHAMPTON – Derngate – TICKETS


October 2019

3 – CHELMSFORD – Civic Theatre – TICKETS
4 – IPSWICH – Regent Theatre – TICKETS
5 – NORWICH– Theatre Royal – TICKETS
6 – DARTFORD – The Orchard – TICKETS
10 – TUNBRIDGE WELLS– Assembly Hall – TICKETS
11 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS
12 – BIRMINGHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS
13 – SHREWSBURY – Theatre Severn – TICKETS
17 – NEW BRIGHTON – Floral Pavilion – TICKETS SOON
18 – GLASGOW – Pavilion Theatre – TICKETS
19 – DUNFERMLINE – Alhambra Theatre – TICKETS
20 – NEWCASTLE upon TYNE – Theatre Royal – TICKETS
25 – PORTSMOUTH – Guildhall – TICKETS
26 – LONDON – PALLADIUM – TICKETS


November 2019

7 – DONCASTER – Cast – TICKETS
8 – KENDAL – Leisure Centre – TICKETS
9 – CARLISLE – The Sands – TICKETS
14 – DUNSTABLE – Grove Theatre – TICKETS
15 – HIGH WYCOMBE – Wycombe Swan – TICKETS
16 – BASINGSTOKE – The Anvil – TICKETS
21 – CANTERBURY – Marlowe Theatre- TICKETS
22 – COLCHESTER – Charter Hall – TICKETS
23 – CAMBRIDGE – Corn Exchange – TICKETS
29 – DORKING – Dorking Halls – TICKETS
30 – CRAWLEY – The Hawth – TICKETS


December 2019

5 – BRADFORD – St Georges Hall – TICKETS
6 – MIDDLESBROUGH – Town Hall – TICKETS
8 – SCARBOROUGH – Spa Hall – TICKETS


February 2020

20 – CHELTENHAM – Town Hall – TICKETS SOON
21 – SALISBURY – City Hall – TICKETS
22 – WEYMOUTH – Pavilion- TICKETS
27 – RHYL – Pavilion – TICKETS
28 – STOCKPORT – Plaza – TICKETS
22 – PRESTON – Charter Theatre – TICKETS SOON


March 2020

6 – HULL – City Hall – TICKETS
7 – LINCOLN – Engine Shed – TICKETS SOON
8 – PETERBOROUGH – The Cresset – TICKETS
26 – SWANSEA – Grand Theatre – TICKETS
27 – NEWPORT – The Neon – TICKETS
28 – POOLE – Lighthouse – TICKETS SOON
29 – BRIGHTON – Dome – TICKETS


April 2020

2 – STAFFORD – Gatehouse – TICKETS SOON
3 – SOUTHPORT – Theatre – TICKETS SOON
5 – DOUGLAS ISLE OF MAN – Gaiety Theatre – TICKETS


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