This Bulletin is from February 5th, 2006

February 2006

Dear Friends of German Comedy,

Another appalling month comes to an end.

What annoyed me most during January was so-called consumer group Stiftung
Warentest with their inappropriate comments about a lack of safety in some of the World Cup stadiums. There are brigades of constructors, officials and experts planning and liaising for years to build stadiums to top standard only for those self-loathing Warentest spoilsports to turn up at the grounds, conduct superficial examinations, jump to erroneous conclusions and make us look a third-world country.
Hardly ever have I agreed more with Franz Beckenbauer then when he said that “Stiftung Warentest might know what it’s talking about with face creams, olive oil and vacuum cleaners, so it should stick to them.” That will presumably all be made up nonsense as well but it doesn’t embarrass us on international stage.

A talking point over here was the Queen’s New Year’s honours list, which caused upset in parts of the country. Not because of the omission of decent, hard-working, law-abiding citizens but because my grandmother didn’t include any of Liverpool’s players after their freakish Champions League triumph. Nothing wrong with that one might say but she awarded each and everybody connected with the England cricket team an MBE for finishing second from bottom in a recent series with Australia. That indeed seems wrong.

I found the whole argument pointless though. Firstly there is no British Empire left anyway and secondly if those overpaid football ballerinas really thrive for those honours they should just sponsor a school or, even better, donate money directly to Labour party. They could give their first speech in the House of Lords within a fortnight.

The Sun won this month Kraut-bashing competition hands down thanks to its excellent twist on the fact that some World Cup host cities bought counter-terrorism gadgets that protect the grounds 24/7 and know a bomb when they see one. The Sun headline read “Britskrieg” and fantasises about pint-sized tanks that will monitor England fans.
Various photos of Hitler and some jokes, bad enough to be part of my stand-up
routine, accompanied the article. http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005580313,00.html
Overall German-bashing kept a surprisingly low profile during January though
as tabloids were sidetracked by various shenanigans of some leading Liberal
Democrats and George Galloways’s heroic efforts of speaking up for the people
of Iraq on Big Brother.

Auf geht’s Deutschland


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