Dear Friends of German Comedy,
The Empire strikes back and conquers the world once again. This time disguised as a football league. And with next to no English involvement.
Following the Premier League’s announcement to play league matches abroad one wonders how kindly history will look on Pete Winkleman for selling Wimbledon FC round the corner to Milton Keynes instead of all the way to Pyongyang.
Having argued for the introduction of Sharia law in my comedy set for quite some time I am surprised about the negative reactions towards Archbishop Rowan Williams’s recent radio interview (and not a little disgruntled for not being credited by him).
Williams sold the idea all wrong though. He should have pointed out the advantages of Sharia law for British society as a whole rather than make it sound like a concession to Muslims, which inevitably led to ‘political-correctness-gone-mad’-style reactions from the Right.
The advantages of Sharia will be obvious once everybody in the UK is subjugated to it. Crime figures will go right down because no matter how criminally inclined you are, you will not be able to re-offend once your arms and legs are chopped off.
Not allowing women outside the house is another shrewd way of improving everyday life. ‘Is-yous-watchin’-me-bird?’ violence will disappear overnight and road safety will improve dramatically, too.
So, that’s enough light-hearted misogyny for one newsletter – have a great February (or what’s left of it) and go and catch a match as long as your club still plays in your area.