Dear Friends of German Comedy,
I’m still in two minds about whether tonight’s U-21 Euro Championship final between England and Germany is the most important event of the footballing year or a total irrelevance. I will be able to tell you after the final whistle depending on the scoreline.
It felt incredibly weird to watch the semi-finals and see Germany beat Italy in a competitive fixture for a change. It must have felt even stranger for our English friends not to be in tears after their penalty shoot-out against Sweden. Just qualifying for a European Championship must in fact have been an unusual sensation.
Talking of football: Why does Man United offer to pay inflated prices for players who won’t be able to replace Christiano Ronaldo anyway? They should use the £80m transfer fee to buy Madeira, Ronaldo’s home island, with all its inhabitants. It’s a small isle with an even smaller gene pool – surely there must be a few others like him.
And if Portugal doesn’t want to sell its territory Man United should invest in battleships rather than Wigan Athletic’s Antonio Valencia.
Talking of slightly odd-looking creatures: Michael Jackson has died and the mental stress of his upcoming 50 date run at London’s O2 Arena might have a lot to do with it. This makes the tremendous efforts of all the stand-ups working on their new Edinburgh Fringe shows even more significant.
Jacko had it comparatively easy as no one would have minded him singing his old classics whilst Edinburgh convention requires stand-ups to deliver a whole new hour, year after year. Yes, indeed, get your handkerchiefs out for all those incredibly hard-working and focused comedians!
But no matter how great our hardship, your laughter and applause make it all worthwhile…sniff…sniff…Thank you…It means so much and I love you all…sniff…sniff.
(Herr Kuhnle and I might perform in the States next year so I had better start practising insincere emotionalism to blend in with their local ‘culture’.)
But before we get to the tractor wheel-sized burgers across the big pond there are heaps of things happening in the UK – please find below a list of some of my upcoming gigs. It would be great to see you at one of those.
In London I particularly recommend my solo shows in Farringdon from July 20-25 and Herr Kuhnle and my new Edinburgh show at The Questors Theatre in Ealing from September 3-5.
Outside London I can’t recommend a trip to the Edinburgh Fringe highly enough. The world’s biggest arts festival runs from August 7-30.
Have a great month and Auf Gehts Deutschland!