Dear Friends of German Comedy,
Let me break with the habit of a lifetime. And apologise. I’m really sorry about the look of last month’s bulletin with its randomly stuck together words, lack of commas and apostrophes.
This was down to some formatting problem between Mac, PC and my mail-out programme. Don’t ask. Anyway, apparently that’s now all sorted.
On the bright side I can vividly imagine trying to decipher the bulletin was a pleasant stroll down memory lane to Bletchley Park for some older subscribers.
Even more vividly can I imagine younger subscribers being left baffled and scratching their back-to-front-baseball caps, cursing and wondering why they’ve been sent this unusually difficult mock A-level.
Mind you, I don’t have young subscribers, as kids aren’t interested in comedy. All they want to know about are Blue Peter and the Mighty Boosh.
No matter what, I mustn’t let standards slip. Anybody who has ever seen my stage outfits knows I’m a perfectionist.
But that trait is becoming increasingly rare in the Fatherland. Nationalmannschaft shipped in five goals against Switzerland with only two weeks to go until Euro 2012. So it’s quite apt that the team’s training camp should be in a place called Tourettes. Fucking amusing, isn’t it?! Almost as amusing as Fucking, in Austria.
It’s a shame the hilarity is lost on the German public, as Tourette’s is not a recognised medical condition back home. It’s simply considered lack of manners and an inability to pull yourself together.
Talking of losing self-control, the Eurovision song contest made me rage with fury. The German entry, Roman Lob, garbled his attempt of a song in Pidgin English rather than the Kaiser’s own language.
Every year the same embarrassment – for the last time: trying to win the Eurovision song contest singing in a foreign language is every little bit as pathetic as trying to win the football World Cup with a foreign manager.
In addition to Herr Lob’s song being complete nonsense our man in Baku also looked a right muppet under his woolly hat. Indoors. With several boiling hot spotlights on him.
What did he dress like that for? There’s no point trying to curry favours with shipyard workers. These days ships are built in China and their workers aren’t allowed to vote in the Eurovision song contest. Or anything else.
Mind you, British people are allowed to vote in the Eurovision song contest despite their politicians claiming Britain isn’t in Europe either.
Those are the same politicians who quite happily claim that Heathrow, Gatwick, Stansted, Luton and Southend are all London airports. But I suppose geography has always been a very subjective matter.
That’s what Berlin should have done! Rather than embarrass the country and besmirch the good name of ‘Made in Germany’ by delaying the airport opening by nine months they should have simply renamed existing airports; Berlin-Frankfurt, Berlin-Hamburg, Berlin-Warsaw.
Have a great month and enjoy the football!?!
Please find below some of my upcoming gigs. It would be great to see you at one of those.
Tonight’s preview at the Betsey Trotwood was sold out but there are still a few tickets left for tomorrow (Wednesday 30th). And spending time indoors is the perfect cure for all the terrible sunburn we’re all suffering from now.
There are now also tickets available for my brief Edinburgh run in August and a preview in Cardiff in July.
Tickets for all shows on henningwehn.de – Thank you!!