Let’s start with the most important news of the year so far: the No Surrender prize draw has been made! Watch the riveting footage here:
Now let’s hope Tanya doesn’t have too good a time on the Reeperbahn and have to issue a public apology on her return from Hamburg.
Like Prince Harry, who by his own admission was “too much Army and not enough Prince” on his recent trip to Las Vegas – which was still a massive improvement on a few years ago when he was too much Wehrmacht and not enough Army.
It’s the Princess of Hearts I feel sorry for. She donated her all-too-short life to removing landmines and now her son brags about littering the world with cluster bombs. All the good Diana has done was been undone by giving birth to Harry. It’s a cruel world we live in.
And her ex-husband is no less embarrassing. Apparently Charles sent his son (sic) Cuban cigars. To Helmand! It’s not just that there’s no shortage of stuff to smoke in Afghanistan, it’s that he broke the Cuban trade embargo. So now, according to the Helms-Burton Act, Britain is not allowed to trade with the US
Since, depending on the outcome of the 2017 referendum, Britain might not be allowed to trade with Europe either quite soon, the best option is to turn Britain into a second Switzerland, but without the scenery or the tradition of time-keeping. Also, Gordon Brown sold all of Britain’s gold, whereas Switzerland still has all of ours.
To make matters even worse, the weather has picked up. It’s a very mild ten degrees here in London today, thereby depriving George Osborne of his wackiest excuse for the triple dip recession – bad weather. It’s a sorry state of affairs when economic policies are being replaced by meteorological forecasts.
So, that’s it for now. But just in case you think this bulletin isn’t negative and/ or funny enough – have a look at this brilliant short film about fellow stand-up Lewis Schaffer who does both things to perfection.
Have a great month
Please find below a list of upcoming gigs. It would be great to see you at one of those. And no, there’s no need to point out that doing a preview at the Betsey the day AFTER the first tour date is rather strange.
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