December 2006

Dear Friends of German Comedy,

Firstly hats off to Tony Blair for expressing his deep sorrow about Britains role in the Slave Trade. As the old saying goes better late than never but a delay of 200 years seems excessive even by Wembley Stadium standards.

Without wanting to sound too cynical Im also not sure that Tony Blair addressed the right people the descendents of the slaves. The US might not be the best country in the world when it comes to quality of life but its presumably still a lot better than Rwanda, Sudan and the other war zones the slaves were recruited from. Hence, Tony Blair should have apologized just as much to the people whose ancestors werent shipped abroad to safety.

As much as I like to brag about German victories over England I wish Tomma Abts hadnt embarrassed the Fatherland by winning the Turner Prize. I genuinely recommend hard labour to all the shortlisted artists and jurors. Is there nobody capable of painting a roaring deer standing in a field anymore?

Now to the positives: The Olympic Games 2012 are already an incredible 40% over budget. Well done! And building work hasnt even started yet. What I like best is the pointless arguing between Mayor of London, the national lottery and the local development agencies who has to pick up the bill. Ill let you in on a secret: ultimately itll be the tax payer.

Im sure Londoners will create a great atmosphere and make the athletes of even the most outlandish sport feel welcome but it would have been a lot cheaper and a lot less embarrassing to hand every Brit a return Eurostar ticket to Paris, a hotel voucher for five nights and a complimentary gold medal. Expect the 70,000 capacity Newham mosque to be the only major building to be ready on time. Lets hope the local imam allows the IOC to hold the opening and closing ceremonies as well as most competitions in the building.

Thank you very much to everybody who came to see Otto Kuhnle and my show at New End Theatre Hampstead. It was particularly good to see so many fellow London-based Germans, including Arsenals Jens Lehmann, in the audience. Vielen Dank!

In case you missed the show or are short of Christmas presents heres the answer:

The worlds most efficient DVD – filmed last February with only one camera and absolutely no enthusiasm.

Thats it for now: Have a great Christmas and a happy New Year. Long live Pope Benedikt XVI.

Auf Wiedersehen
Henning