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December 2014

Dear Friends of German Humour,

Do they know it’s Christmas time? I don’t know how they possibly could, seeing I’m not doing my Authentic German Christmas Do this year. It’ll be back next year – I promise. And as the saying goes: Vorfreude ist die schoenste Freude. And a full 12 months of it!

Luckily there’s no shortage of German Christmas this-and-that all over Blighty. I had the pleasure of being in Birmingham on the opening night of their massive German Christmas market. And I have to say it’s amazing how many of my countrymen are fluent in Romanian these days.

Other than overindulging on mulled wine and punch-ups down the Tesco, Christmas is all about emotional blackmail.

A lady who kindly bought tickets for one of my shows in May now can’t make it, but the venue’s terms and conditions don’t allow a refund. Instead of giving them to friends (the ideal Christmas present) she sent me an email saying if I don’t personally reimburse her, then I ruined her Christmas.

Obviously I don’t mind being charitable. Only last Sunday did I appear at a benefit gig for a migrants’ rights organisation. Bizarrely the audience were exclusively white – the only non-whites in the building were fellow unpaid performers and minimum-wage bar staff, making sure the pureblood establishment had an enjoyable evening. In hindsight I should have kept that observation to myself rather than use it as my opening gambit.

You live and learn. Like the bloke in Strood who, in the spirit of Christmas, draped his house in red and white – but didn’t pay enough attention to what order he assembled the colours in and ended up in the middle of a political storm.

It’s ridiculous how he was portrayed as a typical example of the white working class. Travelling up and down the country on tour let me assure you: houses covered in England flags are a rarer sight than openly gay footballers/openly heterosexual hairdressers/openly positive coverage of a European Union initiative in British media.

Even the BBC is totally biased. Reading last week’s coverage of the Invest in Europe initiative you could have thought the EU had unveiled a plan saying: “We’re trying to raise 30bn to hand out willy nilly.”

Thinking that, no matter what you make of the EU, this can’t be the whole story I checked on Sueddeutsche Zeitung and it transpired it’s a programme to level interest rate disparity between European countries by underwriting private sector investments in economically weaker areas.

Admittedly this makes for far less entertaining reading than “They’re building a gravy train from Strasbourg to Brussels for technocrats. And Britain’s got to provide the gravy. No more roasts for several years!” but it would stop people risking their lives by climbing up ladders, trying to cover their houses in flags.

This is my preaching done for the year – have a great end to 2014 and hopefully see you next year


Please find below a list of upcoming gigs. It would be great to see you at one of those. Tickets for all shows on – before booking please check for previous engagements that day.

And once you’re on you might as well quickly buy Henning Knows Bestest. It’s available as DVD or Download. Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” quite like some data stream.

June 2022

3rd - Shanklin IOW - Shanklin Theatre - TICKETS
4th - Bournemouth - Pavilion - TICKETS
5th - Weymouth - Pavilion - TICKETS
9th - Nottingham - Playhouse - TICKETS
10th - Nottingham - Playhouse - SOLD OUT
11th - Reading - The Hexagon - TICKETS
16th - Doncaster - The Cast - TICKETS
17th - York - The Barbican - TICKETS
18th - Bradford - St Georges Hall - TICKETS
30th - Douglas Isle of Man - Gaiety Theatre - TICKETS

July 2022

31st - Macclesfield - Gawsworth Hall - TICKETS

August 2022

4th - Edinburgh - The Queen's Hall - TICKETS
5th - Edinburgh - The Queen's Hall - TICKETS
6th - Edinburgh - The Queen's Hall - TICKETS
11th - Edinburgh - The Queen's Hall - TICKETS
12th - Edinburgh - The Queen's Hall - TICKETS
13th - Edinburgh - The Queen's Hall - TICKETS
18th - Edinburgh - The Queen's Hall - TICKETS
19th - Edinburgh - The Queen's Hall - TICKETS
20th - Edinburgh - The Queen's Hall - TICKETS
25th - Edinburgh - The Queen's Hall - TICKETS
26th - Edinburgh - The Queen's Hall - TICKETS
27th - Edinburgh - The Queen's Hall - TICKETS

September 2022

22nd - Epsom - Playhouse - TICKETS
23rd - Aldershot - Princes Hall - TICKETS
24th - Redhill - Harlequin - TICKETS
30th - Worthing - Pavilion - TICKETS

October 2022

1st - Brighton - Dome - TICKETS
6th - Harrogate - Royal Hall - TICKETS
7th - Birmingham - Town Hall - TICKETS
8th - Birmingham - Town Hall - TICKETS
14th - London - Palladium - TICKETS
15th - Portsmouth - Guildhall - TICKETS
20th - Chelmsford - Civic Theatre - SOLD OUT
21st - Ipswich - Regent Theatre - TICKETS
22nd - Dunstable - Grove Theatre - TICKETS
28th - Tunbridge - Assembly Hall - TICKETS

November 2022

11th - Rhyl - Pavilion Theatre - TICKETS
12th - Warwick - Butterworth Hall - TICKETS
17th - Oxford - Playhouse - TICKETS
18th - Oxford - Playhouse - TICKETS

February 2023

24th - Leeds - City Varieties - TICKETS
25th - Leeds - City Varieties - TICKETS

March 2023

3rd - Horsham - Capitol Theatre - TICKETS
4th - Dorking - Halls - TICKETS
5th - Canterbury - Marlowe Theatre - TICKETS
10th - St Albans - Arena - TICKETS
11th - Colchester - Charter Hall - TICKETS
12th - Norwich - Theatre Royal - TICKETS
17th - Chesterfield - Winding Wheel - TICKETS
18th - Stockport - Plaza - TICKETS
19th - Lichfield - Garrick Theatre - TICKETS SOON
23rd - New Brighton - Floral Pavilion - TICKETS
24th - Hull - City Hall - TICKETS SOON
25th - Middlesborough - Town Hall - TICKETS SOON


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