Dear Friends of German Comedy,
It’s been a few weeks since the German elections and I’m still buzzing that the next Bundeskanzler is Westphalian. Reassuringly for everyone it’s not me. I still do all my political work in an extra-parliamentary capacity. At the moment I’m giving my unbiased view on climate change in theatres up and down the UK. Currently more ‘down’ than ‘up’, but more dates oop North are being added, such as a tour of Scotland in spring next year.
I feel really blessed to have been part of the UK stand-up scene during the golden period for live entertainment; the period after the introduction of the smoking ban but before all theatres start using those god-awful LED lights.
Sadly, you can sense the golden period is coming to an end quite rapidly. Even a venue as iconic as the Leeds City Varieties have replaced their traditional heat-giving tungsten stage lighting with energy-saving, atmosphere-zapping, stone-cold, dead-boring LED lights.
As a performer you know you have to recalibrate your expectations when you come on stage and the audience sit there with their coats on and the main thought in the back of your mind is how many additional layers you’ll be wearing in the second half.
I’m only mentioning City Varieties to illustrate that even the best venues can be ruined by LED lights. Yes, we all want to save the planet and venues’ bank accounts but if you go to see stand-up you want to be in a room with proper boiling hot lights and an electric atmosphere. Otherwise we might as well just do the show in the street in broad daylight.
Of course venues can also be too hot. Them converted shipping containers they use as venues at the Edinburgh Fringe spring to mind, where people fall asleep from heatstroke and a lack of oxygen and jokes. Badum tish!
Being too hot has certainly had an impact on my TV career. During my one shot at hosting Live At The Apollo I started sweating like Lee Evans on a murder charge. If I had known the stage was going to be this hot, I would have worn something to hide the sweat, like a jacket or a jumper, but instead I started visibly perspiring for England from the first moment. Before long I had developed such massive damp patches all over my shirt my performance became almost impossible to edit.
I haven’t been asked back and I’m not surprised. To be honest, I wouldn’t book myself either. At the end of the day, first and foremost TV is about creating something that looks good; content comes a distant second and with the help of a laughter track you can turn pretty much any old nonsense into a passable comedy set. Why take the risk with someone who has literally blotted his copybook along with a perfectly good shirt from Marks and Spencer.
Which means, ladies and gentlemen, the only way to see me is to come to one of my shows. I can’t predict what temperature we’ll be provided with in any given venue, and I’m certainly hoping for the best, but I suggest you bring gloves and woolly hat to be on the safe side. I know I will.
Have a great month
Henning
PS: Please find below a list of upcoming dates. It would be great to see you at one of those. Don’t despair if your area isn’t mentioned yet. As I say, more dates are constantly being added, such as a tour of Scotland in the spring of 2026.
